Being Dealt A Life Blow

This is a guest post from the brilliant Sue Vought. You can find more about her excellent work here.

My name is Sue Vought and am a mid-forties (how did that happen?), trumpet player, photographer, animal-loving gardener lucky enough to have a supportive partner, great friends and family who I share my life with.  Through this support, I have a rekindled passion for living the best life that I can and have found that I can help others to do that too.  In education for 20 years, I wanted to spend more time working with people to help them to feel happy and good about themselves and when I stumbled upon coaching and found the amazing effect it could have on people’s lives, I wanted in! Now I run a successful business based in the UK helping as many people as I can manage to live the best version of their lives.

Being dealt a life-blow can be devastating. Relationship breakdowns, redundancy, loss, ill-health and bereavement can knock your life completely off track.  Literally a side swipe on your predicted life path.  Your life can feel lousy for months, even years afterwards.  Feelings of guilt, betrayal, grief, despair and desperation are common at this time and the physical symptoms of depression and anxiety can add to an already overwhelming situation.

Life can be cruel. And it can happen to anybody.

At this point in your life, friends, family, therapy or counselling can help you make sense of what has happened and get you through this painful time.  They can help you to shout, be angry, cry, hate and generally get over the major event that has knocked you for six.

But there comes a point when you want to get back on with things – get back to being ‘you’.  The ‘you’ who loved life, who was good at their job, who had their life mapped out.  The ‘you’ who does more than just survive day by day and is ready to make an impact on the world again: make a difference; influence the world around you.  Friends and family have been great, but they are busy and, with the best will in the world, it can be tricky for them to be impartial.

That’s when a coach can be the answer.  To take you from the place you are now, into the future.  Someone who will help you to remember your strengths and celebrate your uniqueness. Someone who will be on your side and listen to what you have to say without judgement. Someone who will hold your hand and encourage you when things get tough. Someone who will give you a nudge when you are reluctant to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Someone to celebrate your success without reservation.

Finding your voice again after being whirled around in the vortex that seems to accompany a life trauma, is the key to influencing your future.  Working with a coach helps you to be proud of yourself and be able to say it out loud.  Coaches do not offer advice.  Instead they ask you questions that help you to understand yourself and the unique influence that you have on the world. They empower you to move forward on your own path fully knowing yourself and what you are capable of.

Once you have your voice again, you can get back to being ‘you’. Once you are back to being ‘you’, your newly rekindled vitality will inspire others.

Several of my clients seem to have had multiple life blows that have really shattered their lives.  The determination of all of them to bounce back and to forge a new path has been phenomenal.  Working alongside them has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

It is said that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Maybe. But I have seen how people who have had a massive life blow can have a determination to succeed against all the odds and more than once I have heard people say “if I can survive that, I can survive anything”.  Once you decide to start living again, the world is your oyster.  And, perhaps more importantly, that world can benefit from your influence.

It’s time to get back on track – you have a lot to offer!